First, there was darkness. Darkness that had nothing but one seed. The seed that would bring our world into existence.
The seed saw nothing, so he made something. A world of untamed wild, with nothing but corn seeds. He saw his children, and needed them to grow. The seed willed for a light source, a sun that all of his children would look up to. He willed there to be water, and water flooded the land, thus watering the seeds, and the seeds gave birth to forests and forests of corn stalks. The seed willed himself to grow into a mighty, great corn. He saw how empty the world was, with only corn-trees, and corn-grass, and little corn-seaweed. He willed there to be life, and out of one corn seed came a human.
The human was squishy and defenseless against the spiky corn-grass, and unable to move around with it's weak body. The corn-deity put hardened corn-stalks in the human to give it structure so that it may live, and drink, and eat.
The lone human looked pitiful, all alone. So the great corn-deity made another of it. The human did not react at the other human, a corn-bon copy. The corn-deity wanted his friends to get along, so he decided to make the second human different, by adding a husk of hair to the top of it's head, and told the two they were different, and to converse.
The two humans procreated, and made a shelter, and feasted on corn and drank the pure water. Many months later, there was a third human, small and fragile, but natural. The third human explored the small world, finding corn, water, earth, sky, and more corn. The corn-deity saw how bored the humans got, so he willed the corn to grow wild, and be different, like the humans. The corn obeyed, taking on many shapes. Hard, tall trees. Short, stubby bushes. Some changed color, and some traveled to the water. Some became what we call "moss," or "vines."
The three humans were excited with the new world, and began to realize how exciting learning was. They learned, and learned, and their brain expanded, and expanded. They found new ways to harvest corn. Banging stale corn against stale corn resulted in fire. If you boil corn, it becomes tastier. The corn was harvested in many ways, eaten and prepared. Corn started changing colors and flavors in time, adapting to what the humans picked and what they did not pick. New types of "vegetables" were born. Corn began traveling through the ground trying to get to the human's shelter, and thus became carrots, potatoes, radishes, and so on. Corn would try to climb and crawl over to the human's shelter, and thus became grapes, strawberries, and so on. Corn would try to become something it was not, like a spice, or a flower, to try to attract the humans.
Finally, the corn-deity was satisfied with his world. There was life on earth in which he had all in one way or another created, and it was all his. But then the humans started expelling their waste. The bactera from their waste created different creatures, some savage, and some tame. Wild birds, pigs, sheep, wolves, felines, fish, all sorts of animals crawled out from the depths of the expelled waste. Soon the world was crawling with more life, which adapted to their land. The fish and water-loving mammals claimed the ocean. The birds, swans, doves, and so on claimed the sky. The wolves, deer, squirrels, and so on claimed the land.
The corn-deity watched with pleasure as his new world flourished with life. He found one creature, one so unique and lonely, so clean, so pure, and how beautiful it was. He brought this creature to the sky, and named her "Fertilizer." Oh, how graceful was she. He procreated with Fertilizer, and out of her came many children. The first, was named Cory Corn. Then we had Carry Corn. And so on, so forth with many Corn-Blessed children.
But one of the children, by the name of Canned Corn, was growing bored of his great father's world. He wanted to see what would happen if you used fire on the world. He lit the trees, he lit the grass, the sky turned black and dark with ash. Canned Corn wanted nothing but the destruction of the world.
Canned Corn knew he would not be able to carry out his deeds if he continued by his current name, and his father would smite him from existence. He created a nickname for him, a name unlike any name in the world. Satan. He procreated with the ashes of his destruction, and had an evil, pre-tainted child, by the name of Lucicorn.
Satan was very bad at hiding, and the great Corn-Deity found him. He punished him to a lifetime inside the world he tried to annihilate, in a world within a world, all without corn. Satan's son knew of what his father wanted, and spread the idea to all of the humans in the earh. "BEGONE THE CORN!" He would chant! "BEGONE THE CORN!" The people would chant.
The crowd of people bought cheap lies, bought "Free RAM," and they felt mislead and angry, but at the wrong person. They called themselves, the "Anti-Corn husks." They stockpiled corn, and burned them, and declared them independant from corn and their Corn-Deity. The great Deity grew angry at this. All beings descended from corn, and this made him angry. The humans did not listen, for they were sure of Lucicorn's trust being true.
The Anti-Cornies mixed water with the ashes of the burnt-corn, and made a mountain of hardened corn-ashes, a symbol of their power being based on death and destruction. The faithful humans prayed to the nearest corn-stalk and asked the great Corn-Deity for help. The great Corn-Deity came to the earth and in a loud, booming voice, he shouted, "I can not help you, for it is your own kind doing this! I can not control them, for it is your duty to show them the truth!"
The humans looked at eachother, and they knew what they needed to do. They built a chapel from harvested corn-stalks, without windows, for all to see freely, from the inside and the outside, for there was nothing to hide. They called themselves, "The Children of the Corn." The great Corn-Deity watched, as the Children of the Corn marched up the mountain, and stuffed two mighty corn on the cobs in Lucicorn's mouth, so that he may not lie to the gullible, weak humans any longer.
The Children of the Corn taught the Anti-Corn husks about how all life descended from corn, and how they needed to be grateful for the life they were given by corn, and the great Corn-Deity. If there was not a Corn-Deity, there would be no life, substance, or even light in the universe. He could have gone to sleep and just had a very long slumber, peaceful and still, floating in never-ending darkness.
They preached to eachother, and so on, so forth. They knew they would not live forever, so they recorded this in history. "The Cornible, the teachings of Corn-Deity." It started like this, "First, there was darkness. Darkness that had nothing..."
It taught the world of the teachings of Corn-Deity, and how you must be grateful, and worship no other vegetable, and worship no fruit, for only Corn shall be worshipped. Do not violate corn, but instead bathe corn in the golden liquid, called "Melted Butter," and eat it. No living being shall can corn, for corn belongs on a cob, and not in a can. Anyone who takes the corn off the cob is evil, and must not be associated with. No human being shall penetrate themselves with a corn, for that is not true love. True love shall be found with only another human, and not with a creature you found. You must visit a Chapel every Wednesday, and bathe in the holy, hot boiling water, in which corns are in the water, boiling.
But as the result of true love, a child will be born. The child must be born, while the mother has a mouth full of salt-water, or else Satan will try to be born as the child, or corrupt the mother during their time of weakness. It is a sin to give birth without salt-water in the mouth, for the risk of Satan one day finally having the strength to harm or become a living being outside of the underworld in which he was imprisoned him, and free Lucicorn from his eternal punishment of "2 mighty corn on the cobs in his mouth," and continue tricking humans into the false security that is the Anti-Corn husks. Husks are not Children of the Corn, for husks wish to see the world without Corn.
But Satan was not finished. He created small minions, that disrupt the world to this day. They influence people with power, and that is why the world is without peace. There is always something disrupting the peace, always being the origin of the problems. And at that, we are at present day. The husks are still roaming the world, and there is still not peace. The Corn-Deity can no longer fix the issues, as none of the creatures alive are his creation. Yet, they are other's creations. He will continue to sit back and send us subliminal messages and answering humble prayers, as often as he can.